Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Chronically Misunderstood != Hip

Really now...

You wear t-shirts underneath jackets.

Of course this is not a new t-shirt from Target or Old Navy or even from your favorite band's website. Oh no. It's a band shirt you "bought at a thrift store for seventy-five cents."

Your jacket (which you also bought at the thrift store) still smells like old man because you spent all your money on your hair gel and couldn't afford to wash the smell of decrepit old age out of it at the dry cleaners.

If a band you like gets radio airplay they've "sold out" and you don't listen to them anymore, even if you do still like them. This is to maintain your "indie cred."

Your hair is always in your eyes. Not because you need a haircut. On the contrary, you've cut your hair so that it looks like you still need a hair cut. There is so much pomade shellacked into your bangs that your pompadour is weighed down into your eyes.

You walked past the Democrats table at Rock the Vote today and proudly commented on how grown up you are because you support Ron Paul.

Let's break this down: You were at Rock the Vote, which is sponsored by MTV. How can you be a hipster and like MTV? It's like being a gay Republican. You support Ron Paul. This makes sense to your hipster sensibilities since he's an "indie politician," that hasn't sold out to his constituents or anything. But it's Ron Paul, so your support for him negates your status as an "adult."

No comments: