List of Things That Amuse Me (That Probably Shouldn't)

1.) This Video
It's video of a turtle set over audio from a guy bitching about his life in Michigan and fat people.
My friend made it while he was high. Need I say more.

2.)Sitting up until ungodly hours in Bruce Lobby.
At about 3 AM the conversations take a turn for the fucked-up. They tend to be intelligent, but seriously silly at the same time. For example: we postulated that our friend Scott was indestructible and immortal. We realized that the absolute power of his position would corrupt him, and he would have to be punished. Since he was indestructible and immortal the only real answer was to shoot him into the center of the sun. At about 4:00AM we decided that since Scott was indestructible, so too must his semen be indestructible as well. So every time the guy ejaculated many, many women in a radius around him would become pregnant with his immortal and indestructable children. They would eventually form a human chain to the sun and rescue their biological father. The End.

3.) The formatting on the above text.
Hilarious, right?

4.) I "collect" woman jokes and dead baby jokes.

5.) I think it is funny that 4chan has spread to my hometown.
I also hate the anchor that begins that video, because he's a tool. I think the Pool's Closed meme is pretty funny. Also, the theme for this newscast made me giggle.

Seriously What the Fuck?

Today in Seriously What the Fuck:

Lesser Sean just told me a story about how his brother is "rock hard" when he passes out drunk. So brother of Lesser had a 3 hr erection and jammed it down his then-girlfriend now-wife's throat, causing her to throw up. Seriously, what the fuck?

My tonsils are the size of golf balls today. I don't have a fever, and they don't particularly hurt. Seriously, what the fuck?

Hillary wants feminists to vote for her, because she's a woman. So much for being egalitarian. Anyway, feminists are upset at her for resting on her husband's laurels, so they're not voting for her anyway. Most of her voters are less educated, older, white women. Yeah.

And chick lit. It pisses me off. I'm starting to see how demeaning it is, and we just lap that shit up. What the hell is wrong with us? Gretchen Wieners I hate you. I hate you with a fiery burning passion for what you've done to literature. What the hell happened to authors like Maya Angelou and Margaret Attwood? Why can't we take a page out of their books, so to speak?

Scott Pump and Jeffing. My love/hate relationship with denizens of Bruce Hall Lobby continues.