You can pretend that we've gotten along fairly well, but you're fooling yourself.
In reference to "the time I made you throw up in front of everyone in school," that was one time? It wasn't every day? Really?
You're just too sensitive. A piece of lettuce in pudding does not make normal stomachs turn themselves inside-out and throw everything on the ground in panic.
If I wasn't in a committed relationship I would divorce you.